Post First, Live Later

It doesn’t matter what you do anymore if no one else knows about it. Break the cycle of performative actions & do things for YOU.

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Seeing the famous, priceless Mona Lisa has always been on my bucket list. And this summer, I finally got the chance to see it up close. There I was at the Louvre, waiting my turn to see the masterpiece.

But when I looked around, I just saw people posting about seeing the Mona Lisa.

Everyone trying to get that perfect photo that proves they were really there. It’s almost like just being at these amazing places, and just seeing these works of art isn’t enough anymore.

We need everyone to know that we did.

If a tree falls in the woods but nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a noise when it falls? If I go to a concert, and don’t post about it, did I actually even go? These days, a concert is not about the music, and a painting is not about the quality; it’s all about you, the doer, and what the event says about you. With the rapid growth of social media, life has become less about experiences and more about promoting them online. If we can’t experience things for ourselves, and ourselves only, we lose what it means to actually be alive.

Meanwhile, the divide between our lives online and real life grows wider and wider.  

Our addiction to online presence stems from "FoMO” our fear of missing out. You see online that people are having fun…without you. Then, to stay connected, we post at events we’re not really interested in or check our phones… 500 times. But now, FOMO has grown. By constantly seeing everyone post their best lives, we feel a need to keep up with this lavish lifestyle, or we feel left out.

As a teen, I feel it all the time. Sometimes, if my substack articles don’t get more than 10 likes, I delete the post entirely. Why? Because my words don’t seem to matter if no one is listening. A little embarrassing, I know, but it's the truth that people online won't admit. It often feels like a performance.

But, for whom?

Validation should come from within and from the people you love—not strangers online. When you let go of this need to be validated by others, you can begin the process of detoxing from social media. I know, it's easier said than done. But websites like PsychCentral and BetterHelp offer free tips on how to stop seeking external validation and grow as a person.

And the next time you catch yourself doom scrolling through all the dream lifestyles online, remind yourself that you never truly know the financial situation of your favorite influencers.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't ever post a photo of a fun moment, or take a cute selfie with friends, but make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons, not because you feel like you have to.

Be there for you.

Put away your phone at milestone events, try to be where you are, without worrying about how it will look on your feed. 

So hopefully, if I ever get the chance to see the Mona Lisa again, I’ll see fewer phones in the air and more genuine smiles on people's faces, focusing on the moment instead of capturing it through a screen.

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If you enjoyed this piece make sure to subscribe. Next time you do something fun, I hope it’s for yourself, and not for your followers online. Leave a comment below with your thoughts!

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